Too Much to Know But Impossible to Let Go: Why I Am Afraid to Find Out More About Sam's Death

Sam died 18 months ago and there is a lot of information that I don't have regarding his death.   Most of it I haven't even tried to find out.     I still haven't even visited the place he died.   

I feel guilty that I don't know everything but it feels like the information might be too painful to accept.   And, nothing will change the fact that Sam is gone. 

Losing a son or daughter to addiction usually means that we have to accept very uncomfortable truths about them dying this way.    In this episode,  I share some of the questions I still have regarding Sam's death,  why I haven't asked, and why I may never find out the answers.